Roseless Room
by Naatta
Summary: A short fanfic of Ben trying to win Rey with flowers. Hope you like it, hope it makes you cry, and for the love of all things good in this fandom someone draw fan art for this! Yes, I'm that shameless.


"Tell me what you see." His voice echoed in her head as she stepped into her room in the Falcon. It made her pause as the door closed behind her, locking it from the inside. Rey closed her eyes for a long blink and leaned against the closed door, taking in a shaky breath.

"I don't want to do this right now Ben." She chided, trying to wave off the buzz of his irritation. He hated when she called him that. "Besides, you know where I am. I'm on the Falcon."

"That's not what I asked." He insisted. At her confusion he clarified. "Close your eyes and clear you mind. When you open them, tell me what you see."

With a note of aggravation she did as requested, closing her mind and letting that practiced emptiness clear everything from her mind but their connection. When she opened them again she couldn't hold back the gasp of surprise. From floor to ceiling and in every crook and corner of the small space was covered in covered in red flowers. They came in varied hues, some more pink, others with a hint of lavender purple but all the same species and blazoned with a crimson red hue. Reaching out she could feel the soft, delicate flesh of each one, her nose filling with their sweet scent that brought goosebumps over her skin; wrapping her in a velvet cocoon of exotic calm.

She closed her eyes as she breathed in that scent, opening them once more to find him sitting on the edge of her bed, dressed in his usual black and watching her. "What are these?"

"They're called roses." He admitted, plucking a particularly large one from a spot next to him and bring it into her vision. "They grow wild on one of the planets on the edge of the galaxy. A trader brought them to Alderaan where they took over my mother's garden when she was growing up. She said if they didn't have thorns, she'd think them the perfect flower."

Getting to his feet he moved to stand in front of her, the bond so close between them she could hear the shuffle of his boots on the floor. The rose in his hand turning white with a thought as he offered it to her, his bare fingers holding the stem in between the thorns. She looked in his dark eyes, surprised to hear him talk about his mother with such affection, even more so at just the hint of a smile playing over his the edges of his lips. A memory brushed against her thoughts, catching her up in the vision of him as a little boy, his father, and Chewie, arms full of flowers, scrambling to fill every crook and cranny of the Falcon with them.

"Han had forgotten her birthday as usual." He said calmly, trying to hold back the flash of anger at the vision of his father. "It was my idea to fill the Falcon with them. To make it up to her we filled the whole damn place with roses, especially the red ones. Those are her favorite."

He almost didn't look like the same person. A boy, barely 6-7 with only the familial black curls to distinguish him as the right person. His eyes were so full of life and excitement they practically sparkled, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet while he handed off flowers to his father who did his best not to snap the stems as he shoved the flowers in various places, bumping into the fuzzy wookie who kept churling about the smell. Stray petals were all over the floor, in Chewie's fur and the room was heavy with their scent but no one seemed to notice, just kept putting them everywhere, Han periodically checking the time.

The scene changed to the room being finished, Han leading a younger Leia into the room with hands over her closed eyes, Ben hiding in a corner. The little boy held back a soft giggle at the gasp his mother gave at their hours of work and pricked fingers. He came out of his hiding spot and handed his mother a single rose, this one white but with a red ribbon wrapped around it just before the bud. She scooped him up and kissed his cheeks, nuzzling him close long enough to make him squeal to be let down.

Such a beautiful memory from such a dark and broken man. It nearly made her cry.

"You like the white roses better though." She added, taking the white rose from in between his bare fingers. "You think they smell sweeter."

He just nodded, holding her eyes as he reached up and ran the back of his fingers across her cheek in a phantom touch. "I still do."

Movement pulled her gaze from his eyes to behind him, the roses all now aglow with snowy white petals, making her gasp in surprise. He stepped aside and let her move deeper into the room, feeling, touching each fragrant bloom, standing behind her like a looming shadow in the dark corner. She smiled softly to herself. Perhaps this is what snow looked like.

"I could do this in real life too, you know." He said softly, breaking the flowery spell just a bit. "I could make sure your room; your whole life is filled with these."

That faint smile faded away, the flower he'd given her, seeming to fade in its brilliance just a bit. She looked at him. "If I join you, that is."

He nodded, moving to her side and taking her hand in his, letting his fingers weave in between her own so she couldn't draw it so easily away. "I would do anything for you Rey. To make you smile. Whether it was to fill your room with flowers or a whole planet of them; anything Rey. Just ask it and it's yours."

His words hurt. So full of promises and hope, of wishes on both their parts, just aching to be fulfilled. He pressed his forehead to hers as they closed their eyes, nuzzling against one another. His other arm wrapped around her waist pulling her closer, she could feel the ache in his heart reaching out her own through their bond, and when he leaned in for a kiss she pulled away with a yelp, pushing him back with all the strength she could muster to stop him. Every fiber of her being wanted him. He felt the same. That itch to touch, to exist in the same place and moment in time. The want…it made his touch burn and hurt. She pushed him back a few steps, the roses around her wilting, dying away to nothingness as she put up a barrier between them. An invisible wall as thick and strong as she could muster. He practically ran into it when he tried to approach her again, bracing his palms against it, beating his fist and yelling her name.

"There's only one thing I want from you, Ben." She said, her soft voice echoing volumes in that empty void that spanned the galaxy between them yet shaky with strangled breath. "And it's the one thing you won't give me."

His normal anger returned as he began to pound on the wall, it shimmering, barely wavering against the barrage of his fists; his dark hair falling into his eyes as he yelled her name, his voice muffled but still full of beg and want. She kept her hand up, holding that barrier up, tears in her eyes, trying to drip down her cheeks. "You gave your heart over to that darkness, Ben. As long as that is where you live you can never be part of me."

He leaned against that wall from fist to elbow, head hung low and muttered something under his breath. His words were a whisper in that darkness, she could read them, her hand coming up to cover her mouth in shock. He looked up at her, those dark eyes a shimmering mirror of the empty blackness around him on that side of the wall, and repeated them through falling tears. Louder, echoing, screaming them at her through the galaxy between them.

Three little words. Over and over again while clawing to be let in.

"NO!" She screamed, pushing that barrier until it and the whole vision shattered like breaking glass. Sinking to her knees on the floor of her room, Rey beat her fist against the steel beneath with shoulders shaking from heavy sobs; she could still see him, on the other side of the bond, also sitting on the floor, his room trashed from his fit of anger as he leaned back against his bed, mumbling her name over and over again like a child. A child lost and alone in the dark.

"Rey…" He whispered, running his hand through his ebony waves as he sucked in a sniffle. "Come back to me."

She curled into a ball on the floor and held herself, shaking her head, ignoring his pleas. She just wanted to fade away, hide away like Luke had done and not be found until she was old and nothing but myth. She could do it too, she knew how to survive on her own. She'd been doing it for years after all. Go somewhere, somewhere with an ocean, live on the sea side. Just fade away…

Fade away…

"I love you." He pleaded through the bond, a tear dripping down the line of his scar.

She sat up, tucking her knees up against her chest and wrapping herself up in her arms and leaning against the wall of her room. She stared back at him across that void and whispered in that roseless room. "I know."


End file.
